Comments on: The Idea http://www.25hourwatch.com/2010/01/15/the-idea/ Not all that useful for telling time, no... Wed, 19 Oct 2011 19:41:16 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: MS http://www.25hourwatch.com/2010/01/15/the-idea/comment-page-1/#comment-97 MS Thu, 21 Jan 2010 23:07:05 +0000 http://www.25hourwatch.com/?p=508#comment-97 Damn you cliffhanger! I agree with Chris, there is some clean-up that would need to be done with punctuation but I did really enjoy this. The suicide theme makes me a bit squirmy, always has, but you offset it nicely by ending it optimistically. Great pacing, a very easy-to-follow and natural voice. Don't keep us waiting too long for more. Damn you cliffhanger! I agree with Chris, there is some clean-up that would need to be done with punctuation but I did really enjoy this. The suicide theme makes me a bit squirmy, always has, but you offset it nicely by ending it optimistically. Great pacing, a very easy-to-follow and natural voice. Don’t keep us waiting too long for more.

]]> By: Chris http://www.25hourwatch.com/2010/01/15/the-idea/comment-page-1/#comment-94 Chris Mon, 18 Jan 2010 06:03:42 +0000 http://www.25hourwatch.com/?p=508#comment-94 In the spirit of what we were talking about the other day, I’m going to do my best to give you some constructive feedback. So… All I got is punctuation. Watch the commas (I’m always guilty of that too) and maybe try experimenting with different punctuation. Especially at the beginning where he’s pausing and changing his mind, you might look at an ellipsis or an em dash. I got kind of a dark humor tone toward the end that I liked. Hopefully I’m not reading something weird into it by saying that. In the spirit of what we were talking about the other day, I’m going to do my best to give you some constructive feedback.

So… All I got is punctuation. Watch the commas (I’m always guilty of that too) and maybe try experimenting with different punctuation. Especially at the beginning where he’s pausing and changing his mind, you might look at an ellipsis or an em dash.

I got kind of a dark humor tone toward the end that I liked. Hopefully I’m not reading something weird into it by saying that.

]]>