They seem like everyday, ordinary people until we get to talking to them.  Then, as soon as we find out that little tidbit of information, we pounce.

“You want to be an actor?  Are you even any good?  Show me something.”

We all become a celebrity judge on American Idol.  And usually we’re not Randy or Paula.  There’s something about meeting a real live artist that tweeks us.  Oh, you think you’re gonna move on up in the world, huh?  You can’t be that good.  Show me what you got, and show me this second.

Of course, say that to a Realtor or Secretary and suddenly you’ve crossed a line, the rules of proper conversational etiquette discarded far behind you.

“So you’re a secretary, huh?  Answer my phone.  Then we’ll see just how good you are.”

I’ve been doing NaNoWriMo this month and working on my writing, the whole process, has been amazing for me.  I feel like I got the writing part down.  It’s the talking about it part I have issues with still.  You tell someone you’re writing a book and obviously they’re going to want to know what it’s about.  For me, there’s something insanely personal about the whole process.  I can’t talk about the plot because there’s more to it.  There’s prose and character development and setting and this whole world that’s been birthed out of my creative man womb.  You want to judge my bouncing bundle of unbound manuscript!  I know you do!

Maybe I need to chill out?  Take a step back and politely say I’m not ready to talk about it?  I mean, that’s the point of a rough draft, it’s the initial version the world is not meant to see.  It’s you’re precious hobbitt ring.  Love it all you want, but too much and you’ll loose some fingers or end up plummeting into a volcano.

I can’t be solely to blame though.  People do turn into game show judges, ready to light up their big red X and shoo you off the stage.  Everyone’s an expert, raising their eyebrow as you delve into your passion.  The truth is there’s a lot of people who look down on any form of the creative process.  Maybe they’ve never let themselves experience it?

The inexperienced don’t just judge though.  They can also support.  Even the people who are on your team, aren’t really on your team.  There’s not just the performer and the judge.  There’s the whole score of spectating audience members ready to jump in and boo, waving their lime green magic markered posters above their heads, if a judge dares to tell you you weren’t perfect.

Constructive criticism is important, we just don’t usually get it from the right place or in the right mixture.  It’s either:

“We support you perfect awesomeness shnookums!”

Or:

“What do you mean how do I know?  I’m a expert at these things!  You suck and no I can’t tell you why or how to improve!”

We all want to criticize, we all want to support, but most of us don’t know how to do both at the same time.  If we love something it must be perfect, and if we hate something it’s because it’s not.  Personally, I’m more of a ‘shades of gray’ type of person.  Learning you have room to improve is good news, the creative process gets to continue, growing into something better and more enjoyable.  Because if it’s all over, if you’ve reached that impossible delusional perfection, what are you really going to have to show for it?  You’re just going to start over on the next project.  From the very beginning.